Unpopular Opinion: F#%k Pandas.

Yeah, I said it. F*ck pandas. I don’t think they’re cute. Never have. Never will. All bears, in general, are jerks who wreck your campsite, rummage through your trash cans, and break your side mirror off your cars. What exactly makes pandas so cool, exotic, and precious? What, because they’re black and white? So areContinue reading “Unpopular Opinion: F#%k Pandas.”

Dumplin’: Fridays don’t deserve all the attention.

This movie is Texas AF. Not that that’s a bad thing. It’s about southern belles named Willowdean, Teen Bluebonnet beauty pageants, and Dolly Parton (I associate Dolly more with Tennessee, but that’s just me). Dumplin’ stars Danielle MacDonald as the aformentioned Willowdean Dickson (but call her Will, and try not to think about Stranger ThingsContinue reading “Dumplin’: Fridays don’t deserve all the attention.”

Bird Box: Or, The Happening 2:The Happeninging.

We see you, Netflix. Trying to up your original movie game by getting the top Hollywood stars to be in your films. Now, if you could just make them worth watching. After the debacle that was Bright, I wasn’t exactly too gung-ho about diving into another sci-fi-based thriller, but dammit, you went and got SandraContinue reading “Bird Box: Or, The Happening 2:The Happeninging.”

Sorry To Bother You: You’re gonna be bothered.

I like all kinds of movies. I even like some popular, mainstream, formulaic “Hollywood” films. I like bad movies, even if they don’t quite reach that “so bad it’s good” status. At the end of the day–I mean, the end of the film, all I ask is to be entertained. Sorry To Bother You mayContinue reading “Sorry To Bother You: You’re gonna be bothered.”

The Shape of Water: Glub, glub, ‘n stuff.

When I decide to watch a movie, I don’t usually seek it out according to box office success, or critical acclaim. I just look at it, and if it looks interesting to me, or like a pleasant diversion, or like something I can goof and riff on, I’ll give it a go. Since I don’tContinue reading “The Shape of Water: Glub, glub, ‘n stuff.”

My Tropical Sweet Tooth.

All my life, I’ve been something of a candy aficionado. A connoisseur, a junk food junkie, if you will. I recently came across a Facebook post where one of my friends had proclaimed Skittles to be the best fruit-flavored candy. Some friends agreed, others dissented, offering up other crowd favorites, like Starburst, Runts, Mike &Continue reading “My Tropical Sweet Tooth.”

Comic Books: That mid-80s “Baxter” B.S.

I was a teenage boy during a majority of the 1980s, and, outside of a few incidents I’m reluctant to get into here, they were the best years of my life. The best part of those best years? Comic books. I wasn’t any different from your usual 80s nerdy teenager in that respect; I wasContinue reading “Comic Books: That mid-80s “Baxter” B.S.”

34 States of “Oh Thank Heaven,” 14 States of Hell.

You know how there are all these certainties in life? Death, taxes, Kardashians… crap like that? Well, sometimes, there are things that you think are the same all over the country, if not the world. One of those things was, I thought, the fact that if you lived in or near a major metropolitan area,Continue reading “34 States of “Oh Thank Heaven,” 14 States of Hell.”

“Christopher Robin, why do I have not any pants?”

With the new Christopher Robin movie about to come out, I’m reminded of just how much Winnie The Pooh and all his woodland friends have been a part of my life. Especially after I became a father. I can remember back to a time when I was in an exam room with my toddler-aged daughter,Continue reading ““Christopher Robin, why do I have not any pants?””